There’s a story told in the Gemara about Rabbi Yochanan, who in the course of his teaching described a certain wave in the ocean, which was extraordinarily high. Upon hearing this, one of his students scoffed at the idea. It seemed fantastical and not factual. Sometime later, this same student actually witnessed this incredibly high wave on a trip at sea.
When he returned to land, he rushed to the beis midrash and excitedly reported, it’s true! The wave that Rabbi Yochanan taught us about is real. Rabbi Yochanan looked at him with a penetrating glare, and the man soon perished. Rabbi Yochanan’s response seems puzzling. The time to be upset at his student should have been when he initially expressed his skepticism.
Why was Rabbi Yochanan upset when his student actually believed what was being taught? Perhaps the answer can be found in this week’s parshah. When Rivkah was pregnant, she was distraught. The midrash explains that when she would pass by the beis midrash, she would feel kicking and movement in her stomach, and when she would pass by a house of avodah zarah, she would feel the same.
She was in tremendous pain, but after being told that she was in fact carrying two fetuses in her stomach, Rivkah is placated. How does the knowledge that she was carrying twins alleviate her pain? The Sfas Emes provides a profound insight. Rivkah was bothered by the notion that her child would be straddling two worlds, attracted to both kedushah and avodah zarah.
She feared that her child would always be on both sides of the fence with no authenticity. Were the child to be attracted to avodah zarah, there would be hope that eventually they would come back home and connect with kedushah and holiness. However, a child that never commits or fully connects to a side will never change.
They will never recognize the darkness that they’re in. And Rivkah’s pain, therefore, came from the thought that there was no hope for her child to return. Perhaps this is what bothered Rabbi Yochanan. When his students scoffed, Rabbi Yochanan maintained hope that his student would overcome his doubts. But when his student declared himself a believer, only after witnessing his master’s teaching with his own eyes, Rabbi Yochanan became upset.
He saw that his student now considered himself a believer and would never see a reason to change. Yogi Berra famously said, “The problem with not knowing where you’re going is that it’s very hard to get there.” Rivkah’s sentiment perhaps was similar. If you don’t know who you are, it’s going to be very difficult to become the person you want to be.
Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos.
