Shlomo Carlebach was once invited to perform at a prison. They sang, they danced, and the elevated energy was palpable in the air. As he exited down the corridor, Shlomo hears loud thuds behind him. He turns around and sees a giant of a man following him. His heart drops as the intimidating individual quickly approaches.
Shlomo, I want to hug you, the man says. Shlomo swallows his fear and tentatively allows himself to be hugged. He feels himself being lifted off the ground, and within moments, Shlomo returns the man’s embrace with the most sincere and heartfelt hug that he had ever given. They wouldn’t let go of each other.
Finally, the man looks at Shlomo with tears in his eyes and says. If only I had been hugged like this even once as a child, perhaps I wouldn’t be here today. The laws of a Sorer and Morer, which are found in this week’s Parsha, seem to be harsh and cruel. A 13 year old boy, who is found to have been rebellious, stole meat and wine, and ate gluttonously, is brought by his parents to the Basden to be executed.
The Gemara explains that he’s not being punished for the sins that he did, but rather for the sins we are sure he will do. He will surely become a murderer, and therefore it is better to execute him now, so that he will not kill another person. The Sochatchover Rebbe, the Shem MeShmuel, raises a fascinating question.
The Gemara explains that if the parents forgive their child, then their son is spared, and he does not need to be executed. How does this make sense? How does it help if his parents forgive him? The Shem MeShmuel explains, It is precisely if and when his parents forgive him, that he will have the ability to change.
Their acceptance of who he is, their love for him as he is, will ensure that he will indeed make his way back home. That love and support are the tools for him to turn away from becoming a murderer. When the parents are forgiving him, they aren’t stopping him from being killed. They’re ensuring he won’t become a killer.
The love and support they communicate to him become the resources for him to develop and transform into a healthy individual. Hug your child tonight, share your love with them, give them a unified message of unconditional support. The warm and loving embrace of today will help shape their future.
Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos.
