Reb Moshe Feinstein was once attending an important rabbinical gathering when he excused himself, saying that he had an important matter to attend to. The driver wondered what was more important than this rabbinical conference. And Reb Moshe directed him to a wedding that was taking place in town. The curious driver asked whether the chosson or kallah were relatives of Reb Moshe, to which he responded that they were not.
When they arrived at the wedding, Reb Moshe approached the chosson’s father and wished him a warm mazal tov. Reb Moshe then remarked that the kallah’s family was actually related to him. The chosson’s father was elated, marrying his son off to a relative of Reb Moshe, the posek hador. What an honor! Reb Moshe then continued towards the woman’s side and made sure to wish the kallah mazal tov, ensuring that she had seen that he had attended.
On the way back home, the driver could not withhold his puzzlement. “How come you told the chosson’s family that you were related? You just told me that you weren’t.”
“Let me explain,” replied Reb Moshe. “The kallah approached me last week, worried and distraught. She’s from a poor family in Israel with no friends or family to celebrate with her.
She was worried that her chosson’s family would look down on her and her situation. She asked me to attend and to say that I’m related to her family to boost her image. I understood her predicament, but asked her how could I say that if we’re not related? She answered that we are. We both descend from Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov.
After thinking over her words, I agreed.” “But why did you make a point to visit the kallah?,” asked the driver. “She would surely find out that you attended at the end of the wedding.”
“Indeed,” replied Reb Moshe, but I wanted her to see me right then and there. I figured she would be nervous and anxious the entire night wondering whether I actually attended and I wanted her to be able to dance with a full heart for those few hours.”
This poignant story reminds me of a powerful insight of the Rebbe on this week’s Parshah. Parshas Behaaloscha concludes with Miriam’s episode of tzaraas. Miriam speaks lashon hara about her brother and is afflicted with tzaraas. The entire camp then waits a week for Miriam to be quarantined and heal from her leprosy.
Rashi comments that it was in the merit of Miriam waiting for her brother Moshe as a baby on the banks of the Nile, 80 years prior, that she merited the honor of the entire nation waiting for her now. How do we understand Rashi’s comment? What was the alternative? Had Miriam not waited for Moshe all those years ago, would we have left her in the desert alone?
The Rebbe explains that when someone was afflicted with tzaraas, they would be quarantined outside the camp and travel behind the camp, separated and alone. However, their seven days of solitude and healing would only begin when the Jewish nation was stationary. The time spent traveling would not count towards their seven days of purification.
The unique honor bestowed to Miriam was that she would be spared the extra days of travel and would instead be able to begin her purification process immediately without delay. What was the reason for this merit? When Batya found Moshe, he was crying in hunger. She tried to nurse the baby, but to no avail.
It was then that Miriam stepped in and offered to bring a Jewish woman to nurse Moshe. When Miriam stayed by her brother’s side as he floated in the Nile, there was very little she would be able to do. If Egyptian soldiers found Moshe, she would not be able to save him. If an Egyptian family found him, she would not be able to protest.
Even without Miriam being there, Batya would have eventually realized that she needed to procure a Jewish wet nurse to feed baby Moshe. But Miriam stayed so that Moshe, hungry and alone, would be fed without delay. She stayed so that Moshe would not cry for those extra hours while Batya found a Jewish wet nurse.
She recognized that alleviating the pain of a child, even for a few moments, was meaningful and impactful. It seemed like she wouldn’t be able to make a difference in the world, but to baby Moshe, she made a world of a difference. And that is why the entire Klal Yisrael, approximately 2 million men, women, and children, along with the mishkan, and Shechinah itself, all waited so that Miriam would be spared her own prolonged pain and suffering.
That’s what motivated Reb Moshe to visit the kallah personally at her wedding. She would have eventually found out that he had attended, but he recognized that checking in with her would transform those next few hours into the most joyous of her life. There’s never a reason to delay if we realize the impact we can have on someone’s day.
Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos.
