In the early years of Jewish immigration to America, it was terribly hard for Yidden to keep Shabbos. Many would need to find a new job every Monday morning after being fired for not showing up to work on Shabbos. One such individual once approached Reb Moshe Feinstein. “I sacrificed tremendously to keep Shabbos,” said the man.
“I was completely Moser Nefesh, but my son has grown up and now rejects the life of Yiddishkeit. How could this be,” complained the man bitterly. As the man finished, he let out a krechtz, a sigh, and he muttered the old Yiddish adage, “Ay, s’iz shver tzu zayn ah yid,” (it’s hard to be a Jew.)
Reb Moshe looked up and asked, “Do you say that expression often?”
“Indeed I do,” replied the man. “I say it when things are tough, which they often are.”
“Your son grew up hearing this expression and associated Yiddishkeit with being burdensome,” Reb Moshe said sadly. “Is there any wonder he wants to throw it away?”
While this story is told about other gedolim as well, I’m reminded of this story by a powerful teaching of Reb Moshe in this week’s Parshah that captures this very perspective.
Parshas Emor contains the laws of kehuna, including those of tumas Meis. A Kohen is prohibited from entering the cemetery and may not have direct contact with a dead body. These are in addition to other restrictions placed on the kohanim, such as who they can marry, what they could eat. Yet, when introducing these laws, the Torah uses the word Vayomer.
There are two words used to describe Hashem’s communication with Moshe:
vayomer and Vayadaber. Our sages teach us that there’s a fundamental difference between them. Vayomer is a softer, more affectionate tone used to teach a law or communicate an emotionally resonant message. Vayadaber connotes a harsher tone.
It’s used when the message is more challenging for the Yidden to accept. Put differently, if you told your kids it’s time for a treat, Vayomer would be the correct term. If you told them it’s time to go to bed, Vayadaber would be the word of choice. With this understanding, it’s puzzling that the Torah uses the word Vayomer to teach us these laws of kuhuna.
These restrictions were undoubtedly difficult for the Kohen to hear and implement. Would it not have been more appropriate to use the word vayidaber? Reb Moshe explains the Kohenim were spiritual leaders and mentors for klal yisroel. If they viewed the kehuna as restrictive and burdensome, they would not be effective in their roles.
To inspire others and to be an effective role model, one’s relationship with Yiddishkeit has to be a joyous one. If it’s distressing and oppressing, the Kohen will be unable to lead, teach, and inspire. That’s why the Torah uses the word Vayomer here. Despite it being tough, despite the personal difficulty that the Kohen would need to endure, the Yiddishkeit of a Kohen needed to be an energizing and invigorating one.
That’s the key to being a successful Kohen. The Rambam famously writes that the role of a Kohen and Levi is not exclusive. One merely needs to decide to devote one’s life to being a representative of Hashem and they too are counted amongst the priests of Hashem. This is what Reb Moshe was communicating to the man who kept Shabbos, “In order to transmit your Yiddishkeit, for you to be a Kohen of Hashem, and to represent and reflect Torah values, you need to view your observance as a joy.”
Your children may witness your actions, but are influenced by your reactions. They listen not only to what we do, but to how we do it.
When our children see that our Yiddishkeit is alive, it helps ensure that it not only survives, but continues to thrive.
Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos.
